Well that's an obvious fact, isn't it?
I mean, who knew that a newborn would need constant attention and would be a drain on any energy you managed to syphon out of the universe? Okay, I knew that. But I didn't know-know that. You know going into parenting that it's going to be hard, but you don't know how hard it's actually going to be. Nobody can really prepare you for that.
And nobody can really prepare you for the amount of love and joy this teacup human is going to bring you either. Sure, people tell you and you nod and smile because you know they're right, but until you actually see and hold your child, you don't know.
I'll tell you right now the reason for my almost radio silence is because being a mother is hard, time consuming work. (Another duh statement.) And maternity leave is not what I expected.
No, I didn't expect to sleep in all the day, lounge about while watching TV, read all the books, or take numerous naps because newborns "sleep all day." But I didn't expect to get zero reading done, watch nothing but HGTV and bad TV (I've not only "remodeled" my house 10 times, but I have sunk to a new low of trash TV that even I never thought possible), and have my sleep schedule completely fucked over in the way that some days I wake up at 8am still tired and some days I'm wide awake at 5am. Also, what's a hairbush?
Motherhood is one of those things where you know what to expect, but you don't know what to expect.
I've let a lot of my hobbies go to the wayside, especially in those first few weeks. I'm just now getting back to taking care of me. I know all the doctors and experts say that you need to take care of yourself before taking care of others, but keeping a teacup human alive is hard work! And when said teacup human doesn't need you for those few brief moments, the last thing you want to be doing is giving yourself an at home facial or manicure. You just want to sit and watch mindless TV.
In those early weeks, it was hard for me to just get away and take a shower. My husband is one of the good ones and does everything he can to help me keep my sanity. He loves our daughter and loves being a daddy. But before we found a bottle she liked, which was a task in and of itself, my "me time" only extended for so long. Joe does it all, but he can't breastfeed. Thankfully, we found a bottle/nipple she likes and I now have the ability for long hot showers and running to Target by myself. Who knew wandering around Target with a hot drink from Starbucks would feel like a vacation?! #momlife
I've had my highest-highs and lowest-lows as a new mom. It's hard. It's stressful. It's beyond rewarding and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Because when Teacup Human looks at me and smiles or has fallen asleep in my arms, I can't believe that I'm lucky enough to be her mom.